Category Archives: Uncategorized

Starting to get it now..checking in =)

So, it’s already been almost a year. That’s crazy to believe. I kept piddle farting around (my southern girl phrase of the day) about a healthier lifestyle and starting to exercise. Well, I just want to check in and say that I’m so happy to report that when I came back and looked at my goals, I was able to scratch off a few. I’ve lost 16lbs so far. I’ve really started to make permanent changes. Exercise is not a choice any more but just a part of my every day. I have been successfully going to the gym after work and the miracle that I know I’m committed to this now is that I’ve been getting up and exercising in the morning as well before work.

I purchased my new “toy”, the fitbit Force. Y’all, I love this thing! Its a bracelet that has a clock, counts my steps, miles, calories burned, flights of stairs, tracks my sleep and has a vibrating alarm. It has a screen so I can check it often to see where I’m at. I’ve set my goal for 10,000 steps a day, and so far I’ve only missed one day of that goal.

Even though I haven’t lost as much “weight” as I had hoped since making these changes, I have dropped a pants size. It was so nice to be able to go “shopping” in my closet and actually fit in a couple pairs I pulled down.

I just want to share that it has finally clicked that I’m not going to see any results and nothing’s going to change unless I actually put the work into it.

So, in signing off for now…I’m going to go take a walk and enjoy another beautiful day! 🙂

Have a great day everyone and make healthy choices! ~Charity

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Fully Committed-Yes Again!

So, my weight loss journey has been a roller coaster ride. I keep having highs and lows. I’m off then back on. Well, this time I have made a serious commitment to stay on track. I have been logging on myfitnesspal.com and tracking my food intake as well as exercise. I also joined a group on facebook called “Commit to Fit” where I have vowed to eat healthy and complete at least 4 workouts a week.

I’ve cleaned out my closet, which depressed me with how small I had gotten 4 years ago and gained all the weight back. I’ve also been looking through the pictures of me on my birthday 4 years ago wearing my first Twilight shirt. I looked so good there! I want to get back in that Twilight shirt!

So far, I’ve done really well. I probably won’t be able to log on here every day, but I’ll try to update y’all every so often. Tomorrow is my first weigh in and I’m hoping to actually see some progress.

I passed the tests today by not touching the Krispy Kreme doughnuts that were brought to the office as well as ice cream sandwiches that are in the freezer. At work it’s employee appreciation week so I will be tempted with treats all week..oh I hope this doesn’t kill me. 😉 At least Friday for the big employee appreciation lunch we are doing fajitas which I can still make a healthy meal out of!

I have shocked myself here lately with how I can make healthy choices. I went hiking this past weekend, I went and walked the “big dam bridge” -yes that’s what it’s called. 🙂

I’ve lost weigt before so I know I can do it again. Y’all hang in there with me. I promise to stay on track this time!

Oh, here’s the picture of me from 2008:

Image

I was surprised with the roses, bear, and balloon for my birthday. I was’t expecting anything since my husband was overseas. But, being the awesome man he is..he made sure this was delivered. It makes me smile every time I think about this day. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband?!

But, I want to get back to the picture above where I’m all smiles again. 🙂

My Date With Elmer

So, I meant to post this a while back, but things were pretty crazy at work and I’ve just now had a little bit of down time to get back on here.

In the evenings it’s about 6:00PM before I can make it over to the gym. But, this is the best time for me. I know it may not sound very motivational, but at 6:00 one of my favorite shows comes on that brings such good and happy memories back: “Little House on the Prairie”. At our gym each of the cardio equipment has their own little t.v. screen and in the evenings when I go, I always watch “Little House on the Prairie”.

I usually get on the riding bicycle and tune in at 6. I still make sure I’m pedaling my little heart out; I usually stay about 11-11.4 miles per hour. But, this show is actually relaxing to me. I grew up watching “LHOTP” every Saturday morning.

Well, last week one episode really got to me. I usually get off after 40-45 min and usually don’t finish watching it. But, last week when they played the episode about Elmer, I actually got all teary eyed and rode through the whole episode!

Elmer’s character was a little boy whose father died and he and his mother moved to Walnut Grove to make a new start. Elmer was a pudgy kind of boy, overweight, new, and kind of the outcast. This episode just touched my heart so much, because I know what that kind of feels like. I was never really overweight as a child, but I was pudgy, not skinny by any means. And kids can be cruel.

In the episode, Nancy uses Elmer, playing off his insecurities. Elmer at first is enthusiastic that Nancy wants to be his girlfriend, and is determined to lose the weight. He does really good, losing 12 pounds the first month. He begins running to school and running around the house. But, his pudgy overeating reputation at school continues to follow him. Everyone thinks he’s so funny when he brings his huge lunch bag and has eating competitions, out eating any boy in school. When Nancy invites him over to the house for supper (all the while just trying to sweeten him up to use him and talk him into doing her homework), Elmer is humiliated when all Nancy and her brother talk about with their father is how huge Elmer is and how he can “really pile the food in”. They begin to taunt Elmer into showing their father how he can eat a lot of food in a short amount of time. They keep pushing Elmer even though he says he’s satisfied with what’s on his plate. Eventually, Elmer caves and starts showing Nells how he can eat. Elmer eats and eats, until he is sick.

When he gets home, his mother asks him how his dinner was with Nancy. He tells him mom it was great and that he’s tired and just wants to go to bed. When he goes to his room he looks in the mirror and is angry with himself that his jacket can barely button. He gets so irate he pulls all his candy and snacks out of his secret hiding places…jars shattering, boxes crashing to the floor. He then curls up on his bed and begins to sob. This scene makes me get choked up just writing about it. I’ve sooo been there. Looking in the mirror disgusted by what I see. Especially in those early pre-teen years, and even now.

I feel like I can really relate to Elmer in this episode. I really try to see the good in myself, finding things I like about myself. But, when you’re overweight, looking in the mirror..all I find are flaws, repeating over and over in my head that I can’t believe I let myself get this big. I can’t believe I really weigh what I do..that I’m really this size. Then comes the disappointment and guilt I have for myself and my poor eating choices.

The class in the episode must write a paper on what friendship means. Elmer writes a paper that friendship means liking a person for who they are and not just because of what they look like or how fast they are or even how much food they can eat. Then Elmer decides to announce in his paper that no one in Walnut Grove seems to be a real friend to him and that’s why he’s no longer going to go to school.

It’s just so sad to me, because I know this is still going on in schools. Especially since the child obesity rate is so high now. I remember what I went through as a kid. I was called a whale and a blubber butt by a horrible mean boy when I was about 8. After being teased like that, and thinking about it now, I wonder if I predestined myself  to be obese. I wasn’t even that overweight as a child, but it seems like after you have been bullied and teased as a child, you feel like that is what you always will be, a blubber butt.

I know I’m an adult and I have a mindset that I can change my habits. But, when food is almost like an addiction, it’s really hard to actually make those healthier choices. When you’re addicted to food, it’s hard to “eat to live” and not “live to eat”.

Like I said, this episode really got to me and really made me think about how children who aren’t skinny are treated, and if them being teased affects what their weight will be when they are older. And, it also makes me think back to my childhood, myself enduring the teasing and humiliation. I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and have that same look Elmer did, self loathing, anger, disappointment, unhappiness.

I’m so tired of being unhappy and disappointed with myself. I do want to get healthier. But, how many times, have I started only to go back to the unhealthy eating and no exercise when I feel stressed at work or stressed at home or when there is drama with my family? I can’t even count how many times I have said I’m determined to lose the weight and get healthy only to cave and go back to my habits over and over and over again.

I know this is going to be a long journey. I didn’t gain all the weight in one day and I won’t lose it all in one day. I’m trying to remind myself  after watching the episode with Elmer, that this isn’t something I can give up. Especially after watching this episode it reminds me that I definitely NEED (not want) to be healthy before I have children and continue a healthy lifestyle so my children don’t have to go through that. I know for me growing up I had overweight family members on both sides, and I am in no way blaming my mother for my weight issues. I don’t think I’ve ever even told her about me being teased or antagonized. I just know I want to make sure I have a healthy lifestyle when I have children, instilling in them proper nutrition and exercise activities. I did play softball and volleyball and I really enjoyed the group activities, and I want to pass that on to my children. I want to be an active parent who can be the healthy role model a child deserves. I don’t want to be a parent who uses that “Do as I say, not as I do” type philosophy.

I have made a commitment to logging on to my fitness pal and logging all my calories, everything I put in my mouth, every day. And, I am starting the Turbo Jam program tonight. I will also make a commitment to go to the gym at least 4 days a week. I need to stay consistent and focused so that I can once again look in the mirror and actually be happy with what I see.

Anyway, I know this post is forever long, but these were just some thoughts I had today that I wanted to pass on and kind of vent about. I hope you all have a great day and make healthy choices. ~Charity 🙂

I’m Back!

Hi everyone, I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately. I did get my promotion at work! Which was very exciting, but I’ve been super busy at work. And, I didn’t have access to a computer at home really, until now. I finally have my own laptop again, thanks to my honey! So, now I have down time in the evening I can get back on to blogging. I’ve missed y’all on here!

So, I had gotten down 9lbs, but then gained it back when I quit logging onto my fitness pal. Well, now I’m back on my fitness pal logging every day again. I also changed gyms to one that is cheaper and a lot closer. My mom joined with me now and I’ve been averaging going to the gym 5 days a week.

I have a plan, but I haven’t been able to implement it like I wanted. My plan is to get up in the morning and do a Turbo Jam workout, have Shakeology for breakfast, salad for lunch, workout in the evening followed by a reasonable dinner. I have done the Turbo Jam workouts a few times now and they are really fun, but I haven’t had a chance to get in a consistent habit of working out in the morning before work. And, I haven’t been sleeping well in the evenings so lately, I’ve been hitting the snooze button too often. Oops… But, I have been making my Shakeology smoothie every morning and I can definitely tell a difference from before! Since Shakeology, my need for caffeine has lowered dramatically! I don’t have to start every morning off with a “fru-fru” coffee packed with calories or a large coke packed with sugar. I also don’t have as much of a craving for fried foods.

I actually went to Chick fil A today for lunch and had a salad with chicken on it rather than the old chicken strip combo with large waffle fries that I used to get. That, was a great non-scale victory for me!

So, in conclusion, I’m not where I want to be really at this point, but I am making progress and better eating habits as well as exercise. I’m really happy to have my own computer again so I can get back on here and share with y’all and hopefully get buckled down on my weight loss goals. 🙂

I hope y’all are all doing well! ~Charity

Paying for bad choices…along with 3 dogs and a cat :)

I’m pretty sure I paid for some bad choices yesterday. I thought I did so good planning ahead last Sunday. I bought plenty of fresh vegetables, cut them up, and put them in containers to take to work. However, I’m still not where I can just pass up a free good meal..sigh.

Tuesday we had this big convention thing at work, which is why I haven’t been on here lately because I’ve been so busy. Well we ordered bbq sandwich stuff with all the fixins and sides. After the bigwigs ate their lunch there was plenty of leftovers and we common folk were told we could partake in what was left in the break room….Did I eat my cut up veggies like I had planned????!!! Um, that’d be a no! I had an openfaced sandwich with pulled pork on one side and chicken on the other, as well as a cup of beans and probably 2 cups of potato salad (the kind made with sour cream and ham). So, not only was that not very healthy choices, but that was more than a serving of pork. Which, if I haven’t mentioned every time I have bacon of any sort makes me sick. But, I thought this meat would be ok. And, granted I haven’t really had any meat other than tunafish salad in over 3 weeks (with the exception of Genghis Grill which was divine and healthy..but I digress).

So, the end effects? Bad trips to the bathroom til midnight Tues and then again Wed morning and practically no sleep for me! When people will I learn my lesson?!

  1. Lesson #1: No pork of any kind will be ingested if at all possible!!!
  2. Lesson #2: I will stick to my planned lunch!
  3. Lesson #3: Oh, yeah, NO PORK OF ANY KIND WILL BE EATEN!!!

On a positive note though, I have been eating very healthy today. And, staying on track. Now, I just need to get my booty in gear and get some cardio done! 🙂

Ok, well on a whole non food related post…I’m a complete animal lover, but if I had to choose between cats and dogs..dogs would win hands down. I’ve never had a cat because my dad was allergic. And, every time my husband would ask I’ve always said no when it comes to cats. We have 3 dogs though! I got my first dog right after we bought our house, Duke a male mini dachshund.

Then, I wanted a female companion, and I’ve always wanted a piebald. So, I got Pixie a female piebald mini dachshund.

Well, the hubby decided those are not “manly” enough dogs..so we also now have Lucy who is a lab mix and is our “guard dog” outside.

I tell you all this because yesterday afternoon it started to storm. When my hubby got home he opened the garage door to come in through that way. Well a couple of hours later it stopped raining and we decided to get out and run some errands. When we returned I opened the garage door to park my vehicle and after parking to the right in my husbands military supplies and extra uniforms was this little cat. Probaby only 6 months old. He meowed just once and stole my husband’s heart. Of course I said we needed to make sure it didn’t belong to anyone else in the neighborhood. And to no avail did anyone claim him. Of course my husband’s conscious along with my cousin who lives with us couldn’t abide letting roam around (which, ok I couldn’t either because we live close to a busy highway and I didn’t want him to get run over). So, now, I have eaten my words of sayin I will never own a cat. Because before I knew it he stole my heart, and has been named Jasper. Oh, please help me, now we have 3 dogs and a cat!!! We might as well apply for grants as an animal shelter. But here is Jasper….

So, now you see my dilemma.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is have a great day and making healthy choices!

~Charity 🙂

Just Stuck…

So, I haven’t gotten on my blog in quite a while. It’s been a rough couple of months. I started this blog because I needed motivation and support. But, I sure haven’t been motivated lately. Maybe it’s because I’m really emotional this week, but I thought I would get back on here and just vent. I feel so stressed out. Last month our internet card broke so we decided just to cancel that service and upgrade our cell phones to internet phones. Which will mean that by the time we changed our plan and bought new phones, our cell phone bill will be pretty high. But, it was either that or no internet. And well, last week I got in a wreck and smashed the whole front end of my Honda Pilot. Of course they didn’t total it, they said the damages would cost less to fix than to total it. So, now I also have to come with a $500 deductible by the end of next month. And, it’s Christmas time and we don’t have the money to really buy for everybody. So, that’s really bothering me. And, I’m having a lot of emotional issues with my dad right now. We’ve always had problems, but right now  it’s pretty bad. To explain, he took off and moved like 3 hours away, and my grandfather kind of figured out why…he owes some people almost a thousand dollars…ugh. Oh, and he says he’s dating a girl that’s only 5 months older than me. WHAT???!!! He wanted to know how I felt if he brought her to our family Christmas get together? WTF! How do you think I feel???!!! But, now he says he’s not coming at all…whatever…so I have just really been feeling down lately. And today particularly it all seems to be piling on top of me. I feel suffocated, frustrated, and helpless. Not to mention my emotional baggage about becoming a mother…All my friends my age are pregnant or just had a baby. I laugh it off to everyone else that I’ve never been around babies and don’t know the first thing about being a mom. But, to be honest I really do want to have kids. I do. I just feel right now, I am way too unhealthy to try to have a child. I am really overweight and I don’t want to get pregnant on top of that. My mom became a diabetic right after she had me, and I am so scared that if I got pregnant while I am already this heavy, that I would definitely become a diabetic. And, I’m not sure how my husband feels about having children. He says he wants them, but not sure when. I know I’m only 23 so it’s not like I have to start having kids right away or anything, but there is that part of me that wants to start a family. At least the last time my husband and I talked about it, he did really make me feel good when he said that he wasn’t in a rush to have kids because he doesn’t want our marriage to be centered around the kids, he wanted us to have time together. Well, I know this is a very long entry, but at least it kind of makes me feel better to just vent on here. So, I just really feel like I need encouragement and prayers. I know I need to be thankful that most of my problems are just material things and I am so grateful for my husband. But, I know I’m not the only one who has those days where you just feel so overwhelmed. So, I am sharing with y’all. I feel better now. Thanks to those of you who read this and know how I feel.

A new campaign from Bzzagent

I know I normally discuss weight loss. But, I am a member of Bzzagent, and was offered a new campaign that I wanted to share on my blog. Through Bzzagent I can try new products and write reviews to help spread information about different products. This one is a link to The Factor Tree. This website is a great resource for parents to use for their children. It’s a website that offers math tutoring, tests, and challenges. Right now they are offering a free trial if you use the promotion code “BZZAGENT”. If you have children in elementary who struggle with math this is a great resource to use. There are different puzzles, practice tests, and various word problems for children to harness new math techniques. Here is the link: http://thefactortree.com